Passionate Love
by SpeedlesChic
Summary: A love story about Tim Speedle and his wife as they go through the trials and tribulations of life. Meanwhile Speed struggles with a case at work.
1. Welcome Home

Tim 'Speed' Speedle, had his wife up against the wall making love to her. Words could not describe how much he had missed her. Speed didn't like when she would go away on business trips. Lauren was an interior designer and photographer; she had been gone for a little over a month. "Oh god, Tim that feels so good," Lauren said moaning with pleasure. "Keep going please… deeper," Lauren added trying to situate herself so he could push deeper into her.

"I can't, you keep sliding down," Speed said trying his hardest to please her.

"Then let's move to the sofa or something or the bedroom, whatever's closer just hurry up." Lauren cupped the side of his scruffy face and kissed him passionately. Speed looked like he hadn't shaved in three weeks. The couple continued to kiss for a few seconds before Speed pulled out of her. Lauren moan again.

Her knee high dress fell back down onto her legs and Speed pulled up his pants, but left them unbuttoned.

Just as they were about to enter their bedroom the phone rang. "Fuck, you've got to be kidding me. Can we just have one night without any interruptions?" Speed asked no one in particular.

"Baby, come on let the answering machine pick it up," Lauren said pulling him into their bedroom.

"What if it's Horatio?"

"My dad knows not to call when we have the week off so let it ring. I want to have sex with my hot husband," she said. Lauren was the daughter of the well renowned, Lt. Horatio Caine.

They decided to let the call go to the answering machine. Lauren gripped the ends of her dress and pulled it over her head before laying back down on the bed. Speed was on her lips before she could blink. "I missed you so much, Lauren," he said lustfully.

"I missed you too."

They kiss each other soundly on the lips over and over again until they heard the answering machine pick up. "Timothy, pick up this is your mother. We're here in Miami and we need you to come pick us up from the airport," Rosie, Speed's mother said.

"Come on! Are you serious?" Lauren asked annoyed as she rolled over so Speed could pick up the phone.

"Hello," Speed answered.

"Oh Timothy thank the Lord you're home. I hope I didn't interrupt anything."

"Yeah, you kind of did, mom. Why are you down here anyway? You always call before coming."

"I know and I'm sorry, but we all got some time off from work. Plus we knew you and your beautiful wife were on vacation." Speed rolled his eyes. They were sucking up to him now, he thought to himself. "So can you come pick us up?"

"Put dad on the phone please," Speed stated.

"Hello," Patrick, his father said.

"Dad, can you please just take a cab? I'm kind of busy right now." Lauren kissed his bare chest sending chills down his spine; he swallowed hard. He tried to get her to stop for just a moment, but she wouldn't. She moved her body on top of his and started to kiss his neck, lips, and scruffy face. Speed fought the urge to moan.

"Son, what is so important that you can't just come down and pick us up?"

"Dad, I'm trying to give you grandchildren." Lauren looked down at him and made a face. That was the first thing Speed could think of under pressure; his parents wanted grandchildren more than they wanted their restaurants to succeed.

"Oh," Mr. Speedle said realizing what his son was talking about. "Okay, we'll take a cab. We'll see you in a little while. We'll stop and get something to eat before coming over."

"Thank you," Speed said and hung up the phone.

He found the phone cord and unplugged it then he reached for his cell phone and turned that off too. He saw Lauren did the same with hers. Speed went to go kiss her, but she put her finger to his lips. "You told them we were trying to give them grandchildren?" Lauren asked giving him a look that her father used. Having a child right now or in the near future was something they had already discussed, no children.

"It's the only thing I could think of. Plus I'm not going to say, to my parents, I can't pick them up because I want to have sex with my wife. Their response would be, 'that can wait till later' and I can't wait." Lauren smiled back at him.

This time she let him kiss her. Speed and Lauren had been married ever since they turned eighteen. Both sides of the family had been skeptical, being that they were so young and had a full life ahead of them, but the truth was, life could be taken at any moment. Both Speed and Lauren had experience that.

Speed's best friend from school had passed and Lauren's uncle and mother had been taken from her. He rolled her onto her back and then climbed on top of her. They stared into one another's eyes as Speed pulled the duvet cover over them; they made passionate love.

* * *

The house was quiet when Speed's family walked into the house. They had gotten a key made the last time they were here. "Timothy! Lauren! We're here," Rosie shouted. No one answered. She had tried calling them when they were five minutes away, but their phones had been shut off and the land-line disconnected.

"SPEED!" James, Speed's twelve year old brother shouted; James and Speed were thirteen years apart.

James dropped his suitcase on the floor sending a loud boom throughout the house. Patrick gave his youngest a look as if to say, 'don't do that. You're a guest in this house.' He looked back at his father giving him the 'I'm sorry' look. "I'm starving."

"You just ate an hour ago, James," Rosie said gently setting her bags on the hardwood floors.

"I know but I'm hungry. I'm going to go raid the fridge. Tim won't mind." Both parents rolled their eyes. Patrick picked up their luggage and headed to the room they usually stayed in.

Rosie figured her son and daughter-in-law were still in bed, possibly still asleep so she decided to head upstairs to see. When she got there the room seemed quiet. She smiled to herself upon hearing the faint sound of her son snoring. Rosie knocked then let herself in. She smiled seeing the two snuggled up together, asleep.

Rosie heard her husband walk up behind her. "Aren't they adorable? And to think we questioned their judgment seven years ago," she said as she leaned back into Patrick.

"Yes, they are. Look at our son. He's practically laying on top of Lauren. You can barely see her," Patrick said laughing. Speed was snuggled up close to Lauren's back with his arm around her waist, head in the nape of her neck, and one leg draped over her legs. "Let's leave them be. I can hear our other son downstairs complaining there's no food in the fridge. What do you say we let them sleep, because I know Lauren just came back from her business trip. We'll go grocery shopping for them get their fridge stocked and start some dinner."

She turned and smiled at him. "Sounds great, honey. Good thing we rented a car."

He smiled. "Yes, it is a good thing we rented a car." The two headed downstairs. Rosie grabbed her purse and told James they were going food shopping and he was coming along. Patrick wrote a note to their kids and headed out the door.


	2. Uncertainty

A couple hours later, Speed and Lauren woke up to find the note his parents had left them in the kitchen. Lauren took a seat on top of the granite countertop while Speed went to the fridge to grab a beer. "You want one, babe?" he asked.

"No, not right now, Timmy. I feel sick to my stomach," Lauren said rubbing her belly. She figured it was had to do with all the traveling and running around she had been doing or it was her time of the month.

"You okay? You said you weren't feeling good a couple weeks ago when we last talked." Speed placed his hands on her hips. He was a little concerned.

"Yeah, but this time it's that time of month… you know." Lauren cupped his face with her hands and kissed him. "What's with Speed the Caveman?" Lauren asked looking at his shaggy hair and beard. "You look like Ryan when he first joined the team, minus the beard." She laughed. "The only time I've seen you like this was your last year at Columbia."

He shrugged his shoulders. "Something new I guess. You like it? And you said that the last time we talked too, babe." He leaned in to kiss her this time.

"What?" Lauren laughed nervously. "And yeah I like it, definitely different." She ran her fingers through his thick dark hair.

"Yeah, you said it was that time of month two weeks ago."

Lauren thought for a minute and recalled that day. She had never gotten her period. Her eyes went wide. She ran her hand over her stomach remembering the night before she left for her business trip.

"Lauren, baby… you okay?" Speed asked.

"I-I never had it," was all Lauren could say. "The last time I had it was the week before I left," she added frantically.

"Lauren, Lauren, Lauren," he said trying to calm his wife down. "It's okay. Were you stressed out at all?"

"No… I mean yes at one point, but I mean it wasn't a huge amount of stress." Lauren paused a moment to collect her thoughts. During stressful times it wasn't uncommon for her to skip a month; it's always been like that. That thought crossed her mind only briefly. Lauren had another idea and it scared her. "I think I'm pregnant," she blurted out just as Rosie, Patrick, and James walked through the front door; thankfully they didn't hear their conversation.

Speed could see the nervousness in her eyes, the uncertainty, and the fear. "Why don't you go upstairs, calm down, and take a hot shower. I'll help my parents with the food." Lauren thanked him then hugged and kissed him.

Speed met his parents at the door. "Oh! Hi honey!" Rosie said with a big smile on her face. "It's so good to see you. Here take these bags for me." Speed took the plastic grocery bags from his mother.

"Dude, what's with the Caveman look?" James asked coming into the house, his hands holding several grocery bags. Speed just gave him a look and headed out to the car telling his mother he'd get the rest.

"So honey, where's your other half?" Rosie asked once Speed was back in the house; his hands and arms were draped with plastic bags. Patrick and James rushed to help him.

"Lauren's upstairs taking a shower. She had a long flight home. She should be down in a few minutes." Rosie started unpacking the groceries and putting them their respective places. 

* * *

Lauren came down twenty minutes later in a pair of Speed's old basketball shorts and a loose fitting t-shirt. She could hear the sounds of pots and pans and the smells of an excellent homemade dinner; something she hadn't had in a long time. Speed smiled when he saw her; her face was glowing. He set his beer down and walked over to her pulling her into a hug. "Hey beautiful, you feel any better?" he asked.

Lauren hugged him back, tightly. It felt so good to be in his embrace; words could not describe how much she missed her husband. "Yeah… for the most part. Jet lag is really setting in right now," Lauren said.

"Welcome home, honey," Rosie squealed coming over to give her daughter-in-law a hug. "How's my favorite daughter-in-law?"

Lauren half laughed. "Tired, glad to be home, glad to see my husband. I missed him a lot," she said hugging him again. Lauren looked up at him and gave him a long passionate kiss.

"Please, little brother in the room, little brother in the room. Ew. Gross. Get a room please," James said covering his eyes with his hands.

"Please, when you find a girl and get married you'll understand," Speed said.

Lauren broke the embrace and motioned for Speed to flow her into the living room. "We'll be right back guys. I just need to talk to Tim for a minute." Taking him by the hand they walked into the living room. "I'm going to go to the drugstore and buy a test. I can't wait. I need to know, and your mom will see something is bothering me. She won't stop asking until she finds out."

"You want me to come with you?"

"No, no. I'm good. I think if you went with me it would be a little suspicious. You know your mother."

"Yeah, true," he smiled. "While you're there can you pick me up some more razor blades and shaving cream? I ran out when you were gone."

She smiled. "The whole beard thing..." He grinned. "I knew it. That's the reason why you haven't shaved." He shrugged his shoulders, and gave her another kiss. "Okay I'm going to go. Call me if you need anything… I love you." She kissed him on the lips; he kissed her back.

"Love you too and I missed you." He hugged and kissed her one last time before letting her go. 

* * *

There were so many different types of home pregnancy tests, Lauren didn't know which one to buy. She never thought she would have to use one, at least not now or in the near future.

A woman in her thirties walked up next to her. The woman said something, but Lauren didn't hear her. The woman spoke again, "Miss, are you okay?"

"What? Yeah… yeah I'm fine. It's just all these different kinds. Which one do you choose?"

The woman smiled at her. "I like these two… Clear Blue and E.P.T… both are digital and you get two each. I haven't had a false positive or negative, and I know because I'm a mother or two and now maybe three."

"Congratulations," Lauren said nervously.

"Thanks, and congratulations are in order for you too." Lauren just stared back at her confused. "Please I can tell when a woman is pregnant, and you fit all the requirements. Your face has that natural glow. Makeup can't give you that." The woman could sense Lauren's nervousness. She moved closer and rubbed the side of Lauren's arm comforting her.

"But I can't be pregnant. I don't want to be pregnant. My husband and I aren't ready," Lauren blurted out.

"Sweetie, that's the best time to have a child. Trust me, I was the same way." The woman searched through her purse and then handed Lauren a business card. "This is where I go. Dr. Flood is one of the best OBs around."

"Thanks…"

The woman grabbed one test for herself and two for Lauren, gave her some words of encouragement, and headed up to the checkout counter; Lauren went the opposite way to the shaving and soap aisle.


	3. A Baby Maybe

Later on, back at the house, James was in the living room watching TV, and playing his new GameBoy he had gotten for his birthday, while Patrick and Rosie made dinner in the kitchen. Speed was sitting out on his deck watching the ocean crash against the soft sandy beach. His past twenty-four hours had been crazy. Lauren had finally come home after being away for way too long, he thought, and now his parents had come down unannounced. But what Lauren had said to him earlier was what was racing through his mind now. He needed some time to think alone, away from his parents and brother.

The possibility of Lauren being pregnant scared him to death; he couldn't imagine how she was feeling. He felt a pair of hands move sensually around his waist and up his chest. "Hey baby." He turned around and kissed her on the lips. "I love you." He kissed her again.

"Love you," she said and pulled away from him. She held up a transparent white grocery bag. Lauren smiled and added, "You need some of these?" The bag held a couple packages of the razor blades and shaving cream he had requested. He thanked her and took the bag. Speed noticed something was missing. Lauren could sense it. "You're wondering where the test is, aren't you?" He nodded his head.

"They're in my purse. Didn't want to risk anyone see it."

Just then Rosie walked outside. "Didn't want to risk what?" she asked.

Lauren spun around. "Oh! Rosie, you scared me. I didn't even hear you come in. I didn't hear your question either. What was it?" Lauren said trying to buy her a Speed some time to think of an answer. She looked at her husband for help.

Speed smiled at his mother and said nonchalantly, "She didn't want to risk buying me the wrong razor blades so she got me two different kinds. The good news is I can use both. I'll be good on razor blades for a while." He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close to him. "Thanks babe." He kissed her soundly on the lips.

"You're welcome." She smiled back. Rosie furrowed her eyebrows and scrunched up her nose. Both Speed and Lauren could tell she was having a hard time believing them, but she took the explanation, and headed back into the kitchen to finish dinner. "That was close, but I don't really think she bought it, Tim." He cocked his head and kissed her again.

"Well, it's the only thing I could think of. How about we head upstairs so I can shave, and you can do what you need to do with the tests." He kissed her again.

"Sounds good. Let's go… Rosie, we'll be down in a minute. Tim is going to shave." She took his hand and they headed upstairs to their master bathroom.

"Okay!" Rosie shouted back.

She turned to her husband who was slicing open a baguette to make homemade garlic bread. They were making the Speedle family recipe for homemade lasagna. "Something is up with those two, Patrick, but I just can't put my finger on it," she said grabbing a head of romaine lettuce for the ceaser salad she was about to make.

"Honey, will you just leave those poor kids alone for one minute? If there is something going on they'll tell us when they're ready… can you hand me the olive oil please?" Rosie picked up the bottle of oil and handed it to her husband. "Thank you, and why do you think something is up? They aren't acting any differently."

Rosie sighed. "Patrick, our son went out onto the patio to think. The only time he really does that is when something is on his mind. I'm his mother. I just know things, and when I went to go see what the two were up to outside, Lauren said, 'I didn't want to risk anyone seeing it.' What is that supposed to mean?"

"I don't know, Rosie, but I would just leave it alone for a while," Patrick said spreading the cheesy garlic spread on the halved baguette. "Lauren just got back after being away from Tim for over a month. If Lauren is talking about not risking it then… well, I'm sure you can figure it out." Rosie grunted in defeat. "Let the kids have some time to themselves."

Patrick grabbed some tin foil and wrapped the garlic bread before putting it in the oven to bake. "James come in here, and help your mother with this ceaser salad. You can play your GameBoy after dinner." He heard his youngest son groan and march into the kitchen. "You can start chopping up the lettuce." James plucked the green lettuce from the ice bath it was in, and started doing what his father asked him to do. 

* * *

Upstairs, Speed was almost finished shaving the right side of his face. Lauren sat next to him on top of the vanity staring at the pregnancy tests. They were still blank. She was afraid to take them, and she didn't have to go to the bathroom.

Speed watched her run the tests through her fingers as she contemplated what was on her mind. He grabbed the bottle of water sitting on the far left corner of the vanity and handed it to, Lauren. "Here drink this. It'll help you pee." When she didn't take it he set it down next to her and said, "Lauren. Babe."

"Tim, I don't know if I want to find out right now… I mean I do, don't get me wrong, but I don't know," she said.

Speed finished shaving the right side of his face and said, "You need to find out now so you can call your doctor and get in and get checked out. You should make an appointment either way because you know those tests can get it wrong."

Lauren sighed. "I know. I know. It's just everything that happened with my mom, and then telling my dad about the baby if I am pregnant. I can see his face, Tim."

Speed placed his hand on her stomach and rubbed it a couple times. "Babe, the best thing you can do is see your doctor. Waiting will only make it worse. If something is wrong then they can take care of it right away."

Lauren placed her hand on top of his and smiled. Lauren wanted kids, she really did, but with everything that happened with her mother, having children had been the last thing on her mind. Now that was all changing in front of her. "You're right, you're right, but we say nothing until we know for sure everything is fine… promise?"

"Promise. I'd kiss you right now, but I still have half my face covered in shaving cream." Lauren laughed. "So drink the water, and pee on how ever many tests you bought so we can get you into the doctor's office to make sure everything is okay with you and our baby." Lauren drank all twelve fluid ounces in the water bottle, and soon after she was able to take all four tests. Now the waiting game began.


	4. Chapter 4

Dinner was beautifully laid out on the dinner table. The smell of homemade lasagna and garlic bread filled the Speedle's home. James was already sitting at the table waiting to devour the food he was about to put on his plate. "Mom can I just put some salad on my plate. I'm starving," James whined.

"No James. You can wait two more minutes… Lauren, Tim hurry up! Dinner is ready!" Rosie shouted.

We're here," said a clean shaven, Tim Speedle.

Rosie smiled and walked up to her son. "Now there's my son. No more caveman," she said patting the right side of his bare face. Speed just smiled. "I hope you're hungry. We made lots of food."

"I'm starving, and it smells good. You have no idea how much I missed home cooked meals… even though the food I ate was amazing," Lauren said popping out from behind her husband.

"Then can we please eat?" James said.

"He's been sitting there for five minutes now," Patrick said chuckling.

"Then let's eat," Lauren said. She sat kitty corner from James, who was sitting at the end of the table; Speed sat next to her, and Rosie and Patrick sat a crossed from them.

By the time the food was passed around, James was already half finished with his lasagna and garlic bread. He hadn't even touched his salad. He lifted his head up to everyone staring at him. "What? I'm hungry okay! I'm a growing kid!"

"Growing kids need their greens too. Eat your salad, James," Rosie said taking a bite of her ceaser salad. She gave up trying to get her youngest to eat anything healthy. He had a mind of his own. Rosie sighed and turned her attention to Speed and Lauren, who seemed to be in their own conversation.

Rosie looked at her husband and then back at Lauren and Speed. They were hiding something, and she was determined to find out. "So Lauren, honey what exactly did you do on your business trip?" Lauren looked at Rosie, She noticed Lauren was almost pale. "Honey, what's wrong you look pale? Are you alright?" Rosie asked concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine. It's just been a long trip," Lauren lied. She was beginning to feel nauseous; she needed the bathroom. "Excuse me. I'll be right back." Lauren wiped her mouth on her napkin and left the kitchen.

"Tim, is she alright," Patrick said to Speed. James was still stuffing his face with lasagna and garlic bread.

"Yeah, she'll be fine. She's just tired from traveling, and she's trying to get used to Miami time again," he said eating his entire piece of garlic bread in one sitting. Patrick laughed at him. His boys loved their food. 

* * *

Lauren came back to the kitchen table a little while later looking worse than before. Her normally sparkling blue eyes were now red and puffy. Speed was beginning to get worried. His wife looked frail and fatigued. "You okay?" Speed asked getting up from his seat; Lauren had been standing next to her chair. Lauren didn't say anything, she just hugged him. "Come on, we're going to go lay down on the sofa."

"No," Lauren said shakily.

"I need to eat food for the baby," she whispered.

Rosie's head shot up at the word 'baby'. "What did you just say? Did you say baby?"

"Shit," Lauren mumbled under her breath. Speed went to speak, but Lauren stopped him. "I think I'm pregnant. That's why I went to the drug store earlier, to buy a pregnancy test. I took them, and all four were positive."

Rosie jumped out of her chair and hugged Lauren. "Oh my gosh! Honey, that's great news."

"Yeah…" Lauren trailed off.

"Honey, what's wrong? Having a baby should be a wonderful time."

Lauren stepped back from her mother-in-law and sighed. "Don't get me wrong I'm happy about it, but then there are some things that terrify me. They're the reasons why I haven't wanted a baby."

"What are they?"

Patrick got up from his chair, and walked up behind, Rosie. James was still sitting in his seat eating. Patrick placed his hands on his wife's shoulders and said, "Rosie, honey, why don't we just let Lauren go get some rest." Rosie didn't fight her husband's suggestion. She knew he was right. Rosie told Speed to take Lauren up to bed, and that she would be up in a little bit with some chicken noodle soup and saltine crackers.


	5. Chapter 5

Lauren watched the clock on her bedside table strike 3:00a.m. as she lay in bed wide awake. The past couple days had been hectic, especially yesterday. Lauren couldn't get the image of the positive pregnancy test out of her mind. It said she was pregnant. She couldn't believe it. She was going to have a baby.

Deep down Lauren was overflowing with excitement. Lauren wanted nothing more than to be a wife – which she was – and a mother.

When Lauren was just a little girl her mother, Ashley Elizabeth Caine was taken away from her and her father. The images of that day are now fuzzy for, Lauren. She was only five at the time, and she couldn't remember what she did when her father had told her that her mother was gone.

The day was like any other day for the Caine family, except Horatio and Ashley had had some exciting news to tell Lauren and the rest of their family. There was going to be another little Caine running around the house. They were going to tell the family later on that night, but it never happened.

Horatio had gotten the phone call as he was leaving work, that Ashley had been rushed to the hospital with severe cramping and bleeding; she had had an ectopic pregnancy. The doctors and nurses had done everything they could, but they couldn't save her. Ashley had lost too much blood; her body gave out. Horatio had lost the love of his life, and Lauren had lost her mother.

Lauren wiped the tears that had fallen from her face away and said softly, "Mom, please help me. I'm so scared right now."

Speed stirred a little and rolled over. He was facing Lauren now. He draped his arm over her stomach and pulled her close to him. As Speed did this, Lauren felt a little twinge of pain in her lower abdomen. Figuring it was just the weight of Speed's hand she moved it up to her chest, and snuggled in closer to him.

Lauren tried to relax, but the overwhelming feeling of nausea started coming back. "Shit," she said to herself as she sat up.

"You okay?" Speed asked mumbling.

"No. I feel like I'm going to puke… again. This morning sickness shit just came out of nowhere, and I can't take it anymore."

"Just lay down and try and get some sleep."

Lauren put her head in her hands and closed her eyes. "Easy for you to say. You don't have to deal with it," she retorted.

Speed lifted his head up off his pillow and looked at his wife. "Babe, I'm not trying to-"

Lauren cut him off almost immediately. "Tim, something's wrong!" The same pain she had felt when Speed touched her stomach had come back, but this time more severe.

"Honey, what's wrong?" Speed asked worriedly. The expression on Lauren's face was pure physical pain. Speed heard someone coming out of the bathroom upstairs bathroom. "MOM? DAD?" No one answered. "JAMES?"

James sleepily came strolling into his brother's room wondering why he was calling for him at 3:15 in the morning. "Dude, it's like 3:00 in the morning. What do you want?" he asked rubbing his eyes.

"You need to go get mom and dad for me right now." James just stood there. "James, go get mom and dad, please!"

"Alright, alright! Why do you need them anyway?" James asked as he slowly started walking out of Speed and Lauren's bedroom; he soon got his answer. Lauren let out a blood curdling scream.

"JAMES! GO!" Speed yelled. This time James did as he was told. "Lauren, honey, what's wrong." She was curled up in the fetal position with her hand on her lower abdomen. 'The baby,' Speed thought to himself. "Everything is going to be fine." He tried reassuring his wife. Was this Lauren's worst nightmare come true? Was she experiencing the same thing her mother did all those years ago? Speed didn't want to leave Lauren's side, but he knew he had to find his phone, anyone's phone, to call 911.

He slid over to his side of the bed to grab his phone, but it wasn't there. "Tim," Lauren cried out just as Rosie and Patrick came running in.

"What's going on? James said something was wrong with, Lauren. We called 911," Rosie said running to her daughter-in-law's side of the bed. She was still curled up in the fetal position, hand on her stomach.

"The baby, mom," Speed choked out.

Rosie gasped. "Lauren, honey, tell me what's going on. The ambulance is on its way," she said stroking Lauren's hair. Tears fell from her eyes like waterfalls.

"I don't want to die. I don't want to die," was all she could say.

This time tears started falling from Speed's eyes. Lauren's worst nightmare was coming true. This was why she wasn't ready to take on a pregnancy. "Baby, you're not going to die. You'll be fine, and so will the baby," Speed said holding her against his body, and trying to reassure her that everything was going to be okay even though his gut feeling said differently. He didn't want to lose her. Not now. Not ever.

No more than five minutes later, the ambulance arrived to take Lauren to Miami General Hospital. Speed wanted to ride with them, but the EMS man named, Seth Campbell told him he couldn't go. There was no room for him. Speed didn't listen. He hopped in the back of the vehicle, and told his father to call Horatio immediately. Patrick said he had already called them when the ambulance arrived and that they would meet him at the hospital. With that the ambulance was off to the hospital.


	6. Chapter 6

Speed sat in the waiting room just outside of the Emergency Room when he heard a man shout, "Speed! Speed where is she? Where's Lauren? What's going on?"

"Horatio," Speed said standing up.

Horatio's eyes went wide with shock. His son-in-law's shirt was covered in blood. "Speed, what's going on?" Horatio's voice broke.

He didn't get a chance to answer because Rosie, Patrick, and James came rushing in. "Tim, honey how is Lauren doing? Have you heard any-" She stopped suddenly when she too saw the blood on her son's shirt. "Oh my God!"

Speed's eyes filled with tears and emotion. "She… she started bleeding on the way here. It was bad…" He looked at Horatio as the tears starting falling down his cheeks. "H, Lauren was pregnant," Speed cried out.

Horatio stared at Speed in disbelief. "She was what? Lauren was pregnant?" Speed just nodded his head. Feeling his knees go weak, Horatio found a chair and sat down.  
"Oh my God. Oh my God."

Speed looked at his mother. Rosie's heart broke. She could see the sadness in his eyes; she could see that he was lost. There was nothing she could do to help. There was nothing anyone could do. "Come here, baby," she said pulling her distraught son into a tight hug.

Patrick and James took a seat next to Horatio. No one knew what to say, especially Horatio. A million thoughts were going through his mind. Why didn't Lauren and Speed tell him they were going to have a baby? What happened only hours earlier? How far along was Lauren before all this happened? Was she dealing with the same thing Ashley had gone through before she lost her life? Was his daughter going to make it? Yes, she had to. He needed her. She was his life. Lauren was what mattered the most to him. They have been through a lot together. "Speed?" Horatio said.

Speed broke away from his mother's warm and comforting embrace and said, "Yeah H?"

"What uh… what happened? Why didn't you tell me Lauren was pregnant?"

Speed wiped the tears away and took a seat next to his father-in-law. "Because… we just found out last night. Lauren was going to call her doctor today to make an appointment to confirm it. We think she got pregnant before she left for her business trip. Lauren's been on the pill so we didn't think…" He sighed. "I don't know, H. I don't fucking know!" Speed cried out. He put his head in his hands and began to sob. "I told her everything was going to be okay, and now I don't know. I can't lose her Horatio. I can't lose her."

Horatio placed a comforting hand on Speed's shoulder and squeezed it. He couldn't lose her either. His life would come crashing down. Horatio felt like his life wouldn't almost be worth living.

Just five years ago, Horatio had gotten remarried. He never thought about getting married after losing Ashley. No one could compare to her, not ever, but when he met Allison Fister everything changed. Allison was a well known licensed psychologist.

About eight years ago, he sought out help, because he was having a hard time dealing with Ashley's death. His work was suffering, and that wasn't something his colleague's were used too. It was then he realized it was time to get professional help. After his third session he knew his and Allison's friendship was something special. Two years after meeting they married, and now they have a three year old daughter named, Lily.

"She'll be fine Speed, she'll be fine," Horatio said trying to make Speed feel somewhat better, but more along the lines of trying to convince himself that everything would be alright.

"Horatio's right, Tim. Lauren will be fine," Patrick said. James nodded in agreement.

"But the baby's not," Speed said frowning. "You guys, she was so excited. I could see it in her eyes. I was excited too."

Rosie got up from her seat and sat down next to her son. "Sweetie, listen to me okay. The baby may not have made it, but you still have, Lauren. In time, when you two are ready, you can try for another another baby."

"That doesn't erase the fact that we lost this baby."

It was Rosie's turn to frown. "No, it doesn't erase the fact that you guys lost this baby. But life goes on, and you'll always remember this one. Just think now you have a little angel watching over you."

Speed flashed a small smile at his mother. "Thanks mom."

"Anytime, baby. Come here and give me a hug." The two embraced in a warm and comforting hug.

Just then the door to the back room opened, and a man dressing pale blue scrubs walked out. "Mr. Speedle," he said pulling off his latex gloves.

Speed rose up from his seat and met the nurse halfway. Everyone else followed him. "Is she alright?" Speed asked.

The man sighed, "Yes, your wife is fine, Mr. Speedle. But she's very weak. She lost a lot of blood. We had to give her a blood transfusion. Right now she's being taken into a recovery room. She's still under anesthetic, but she should be waking up soon."

"The baby, sir," Horatio said.

The man frowned, "I'm sorry, but the baby didn't survive. There was nothing Dr. Raymond could do. You're wife lost too much blood. I can take you to her room now, but only one person can go in at a time… for now. Also when you're down there, Dr. Raymond will explain everything that went on."

"Okay," was all Speed could get out. With that he and his family followed the male nurse to the recovery rooms.


	7. Chapter 7

Speed watched from outside of his wife's room while the nurses got her settled. She was still groggy from the anesthetic. Speed felt a calming hand touch his shoulder. He knew it was Horatio. "H, what am I even supposed to say to her," Speed said quietly.

"Well… Speed… you might not need to say anything at all. Sometimes all that is needed is physical touch," Horatio said. "But don't ask her how she's doing. You're asking a question you already know the answer to."

"H, all this happened so fast. I haven't even had time to process it. One minute Lauren's home and happy. The next minute she's scared because we find out she's pregnant. Then we decide we're ready for a family, and we were excited for this baby. Then she loses the baby. H, she was so excited to be a mom. She's always wanted that, but she was scared because of what happened to her mom. She saw what it did to you, and she didn't want you to have to go through it again. She didn't want me to go through it. My wife's worst nightmare almost came true," Speed said in one breath.

Horatio frowned. "Speed, first of all take a deep breath, okay."

"She probably doesn't want to see me. She'll probably want to see you," Speed said ignoring his father-in-law's advice.

"Speed, look at me." Speed did nothing. "Speed," Horatio said again.

Speed slowly turned his head. He had tears falling down his face. "I told her nothing was going to happen to her or the baby. Our baby is gone, and I almost lost her. I'm her husband. I'm supposed to protect her. I'm supposed to make her feel safe. I promised her, H. I failed."

Horatio knew the feeling. He went through those same emotions when he lost, Ashley. He told himself it was his fault because he hadn't protected her like he promised. But as time went on, he realized there was nothing he could have done. Speed needed to realize that. "Speed, there was nothing you could do. You have to realize that. You can't predict life. And she has no idea I'm here. She'll want to see you."

Speed felt a different hand touch his shoulder. He knew who this was too, his mother. "Timmy, you go and see her. She needs you now more than ever. You need her more than ever. Now is not the time to question why or how this happened. Go and be with your wife. Horatio and I will wait for the doctor," Rosie said gently pushing her son toward the hospital room.

Speed looked back at his mother and father-in-law. "Go, son. Go see her," Horatio said.

Rosie watched her son walk into the room. She whispered to Horatio, "We need to get our children through this."

"That we do, Barbara… that we do."

Speed walked into the room just as the nurses were leaving. They told Speed, Lauren would be a little groggy from the local anesthetic. Speed thanked them then walked over to Lauren. She appeared to be sleeping. He turned around and found a small metal stool. Speed pulled it closer to him and sat down. Lauren opened her eyes. Speed smiled. "Hey, angel," he said gently grabbing a hold of his wife's hand.

"Hey," Lauren said just above a whisper.

Speed cleared his throat. "How… uh, how are you feeling? Are you in any pain?"

Lauren sat up a little. She felt some pain in her lower stomach. "My lower stomach hurts a little bit. Did you get to talk to that doctor?"

"No. Just nurses. The doctor's coming soon, angel."

Lauren swallowed hard, and looked at Speed. "The baby's gone, Tim. I know it. I can feel it."

"Yeah…" was all Speed could say as tears started to roll down his cheeks. "They said there was nothing they could do. You lost a lot of blood on the way to the hospital."

"What?" Lauren asked surprised.

Speed squeezed Lauren's hand a little harder. "You started bleeding on the way here. I don't know why, but I can only guess it was because of the miscarriage..."

Lauren swallowed hard again and held back tear. She couldn't help but wonder if she had had an ectopic pregnancy like her mother had before she died. "Tim…" She paused a moment to wipe some tears away then continued, "do you think I had the same thing happen to me when my mom died?"

It was Speed's turn to swallow hard and hold back tears, but he was having a hard time. "Angel, I don't know. It's possible. We'll have to wait for the doctor."

Lauren nodded then said, "Tim, what if it wasn't, and this miscarriage is all my fault. I mean, I kept taking the birth control pills, and I was drinking alcohol. Don't they say flying in the first semester isn't good for the baby?"

"Lauren, listen to me. You can't blame any of this on yourself. You didn't know you were pregnant. I've known you since you were fourteen, and we've been married seven years. If you knew you were pregnant you would've stopped doing all of that, but you didn't so don't blame yourself."

Lauren's bottom lip started to quiver, and more tears started falling down her cheeks. "Tim, there were signs, and I didn't do anything about it. I just ignored them."

Speed sighed. His stomach was in knots. He didn't know what to do or say to make his wife feel better. He could only imagine the pain she was going through physically and mentally. He needed, Horatio. He got his wish.

"Sweetheart. Speed is right. You can't blame yourself for the miscarriage. There are a lot of different reasons as to what causes them. So right now, you need to lay back and try to relax," Horatio said walking into the room.

"Daddy," was all Lauren said as she began to cry even harder.

Just then there was a knock on the door followed by a male voice, "Lauren, how are you feeling? Any pain?" Dr. Raymond asked walking into the room with her medical chart.

Lauren wiped her tears away and said, "Yeah. My lower stomach hurts when I try to move."

"I'll let the nurse know when I leave to get you some pain medication," he said writing something down in her chart. "Now let's talk about what happened. I'm sure you're wondering why, but before I do, I just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss. Losing a child is never easy." Speed and Lauren thanked him. Dr. Raymond grabbed another stool and sat down next to Speed. He continued, "The causes of miscarriages are unknown. There are many different reasons as to why they happen. Some can be more obvious like an ectopic pregnancy, which wasn't your case. I don't know what caused your miscarriage, but you did have heavy bleeding. We had to give you a blood transfusion, and we also had to do a D&C. You were about ten weeks."

"A D&C?" Speed asked.

"They had to get the fetus out of me, Tim," Lauren said as a fresh batch of tears started rolling down her cheeks. "Dr. Raymond, I was on a business trip over in Europe. I didn't know I was pregnant. We just found out yesterday when I got home. I was on birth control pill during the entire time, and I was also drinking alcohol and flying. Did I do this to our child? Did I cause the miscarriage?"

Both Horatio and Speed looked at Dr. Raymond hoping and praying he would say no. They got their answer. "Lauren, this is not your fault. I get a lot of women who think that it's their fault. Ninety-nine percent of the time it's not. You are part of that ninety-nine percent. Even if you were taking birth control and having a glass of wine here and there your baby would've been okay. Like I said, the causes of most miscarriages are unknown. Don't go beating yourself up because you think it's your fault because it's not." Lauren nodded. "Okay, good. I'm going to tell the nurse to get you some pain medication and have you start on an antibiotic. We don't want an infection to start. Also try and get some rest." Dr. Raymond got up and left the room.

"See, angel it wasn't your fault," Speed said giving Lauren's hand a kiss. "I love you, and we're going to get through this, okay."

"I know. I love you."

Speed got up from the stool and leaned forward planting a soft kiss on Lauren's lips. "How about you lay back and get some rest." He kissed her lips again.

"Will you stay with me?" Lauren asked looking from Speed to her father.

"Always," Speed said with a small smile.

"I have to go call Allison, and let her know what's going on. But after that I'll be right back in here with you, sweetheart," Horatio said planting a kiss on her cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too, daddy."

"Hang in there guys." Horatio left the room just as Rosie walked in.


End file.
